So I'm Marrying a Mac Geek...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I let Shawn get to me. Sorry I let him get under my skin and piss me off. Sorry I said what I said last night. There are lines, and then there are lines. I normally ignore lines, but sometimes I'm aware that I've crossed them and maybe shouldn't have. Last night I crossed one, and I'm sorry.

The thing is: I started watching Shawn's show because it was a way for me to get a glimpse into John's life. It was something I could do, that he was part of, even though we are so far apart. Long distance relationships don't allow for much social interaction, sometimes.

Unfortunately, most of the things discussed on Shawn's show either don't interest me, or go so far over my head that I'm waiting for the sonic boom on their reentry into the atmosphere.

It's rare that he brings up a topic that I'm interested in. Rarer still that it's something I feel I can contribute something to, either externally (such as here) or in the discussion in the chatroom. So when he did, I pounced.

And then he shot me down over and over again. Refused to give any validity to my arguments, and did so in a very public manner. Last night he brought up the same subject again in a way that I thought was baiting me to react. I did.

Shouldn't have. But did.

Only to be patronized and condescended to. Which pissed me off the point that I overreacted. It doesn't happen often, but there are a few things that really push my buttons: people who don't listen to me (and I don't care if they disagree, but at least listen to what I say and acknowledge that while it may not fit with your view of the world, it's still valid), and people who patronize me. And people who call me "Sweetie."

For the record: I hate that term. It should never be applied to anyone over the age of ten. It's the most condescending, insulting "endearment" and I start grinding my teeth when people start throwing it in my direction. I'm not your "sweetie", and there's nothing fucking sweet about me.

But I'm still sorry I overreacted so publicly. What I should have done was left the chatroom, turned off the show, and gone and done something that wouldn't have pissed me off. Which is what I did do after I lost my temper. I just wish I hadn't let it get that far.

So I'm sorry, Shawn, that I overreacted. Sorry I crossed the line. Sorry, too that I'm probably not going to join the chatroom for awhile, since I really don't have any opinions worth contributing to the show. I joined it for John's sake, and I think he'll understand if I back away.