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WTF FLASH?

So I get the weekly "Your Flash plugin is too old" message, because hey, it's Flash. (Motto: If you aren't installing Flash all the time, YOU'RE A BAD PERSON)

Okay, go to the download site, download the latest, go searching for the package installer....it's gone.

Not only is the package installer GONE, but you don't even download the entire installer. You get a stub that then downloads the REST of the install.

So let's see if I get this straight. Instead of fixing what was a fairly minor issue with the previous installer, the solution was to remove the one, the one good part about installing Flash, and then go back the worst parts of what Acrobat 8? 7? for one of those fucking, gods-be-damned, multipart installer downloads.

THIS ISN'T EVEN TO INSTALL A PRODUCT ANYONE FUCKING WANTS ANYMORE.

The only reason, the only reason I install this piece of festering shit is because I have a few work-critical applications that require it. Were that not the case, I would happily, happily ban Flash from my network. It would not only reduce frustration levels, IT WOULD MAKE MY NETWORK MORE FUCKING SECURE.

That is how fucking stupid the Flash Plugin management team is. They have a product that no. one likes, is forever causing security problems, and they go out of their way to find the very few things about the fucking Flash plugin that don't suck, and ratfuck them into the ground. Do they get paid by the hate? Is hate even a currency? It must be, and it must pay well, because the only fucking bit of sanity I can tease out of the Flash Plugin team's moves for the last decade is that they are on a mission to be the first truly universally hated software product. It is the only thing that makes any fucking sense. I'm surprised they didn't include a copy on Curiosity, after all, why limit the hate to just one planet?

Oh, they do have a "special license" you can apply for to redistribute Flash internally. There are a number of problems with that:

Fuck You. No, really. Fuck. You. My company writes truly huge checks to Adobe on a regular basis, and you want me to jump through a hoop so I can install a fucking plugin? A free plugin? There are not enough letters in "fuck you" to adequately describe all the "fuck you"s that creates.
This is not software you pay for. It is free. It is free if I download it once, it is free if I write a script that does nothing but download it, then deletes the download, and then redownloads it forever. There is no reason for this kind of shit, and I'd guess whomever implemented it is the same tit who thinks I'm going to do this for Adobe AIR. This is stupid. No one, no one has ever explained this in a way that is not stupid. Going through life being stupid just because you can is a bad idea for a frat boy, and now we have a product team using stupidity as their distribution model. Fuck, may as well make me install it from a floppy if we're going to make idiocy the primary goal
Based on what I see from the current public installer, and the last few months, I have zero confidence in the Flash Plugin team's ability to create a proper installer anyway, and they want me to sign a special agreement for a product I don't think they can actually create? ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH ALLLLLLLLL THE TIME??? You want me to license something I have no proof exists? NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Every time, every fucking time I think the Flash team can get no stupider, they prove me so very, very wrong...wait...wait...no, Dowdell hasn't had a new post since June of 2011, but I have faith.

There may be someone not on the Flash Plugin team that doesn't hate the Flash Plugin, so BETTER GET TO FUCKING WORK ON THAT GUYS, YOU'RE SLACKING OFF.

Christ, I truly hate product groups that are that relentlessly stupid. I especially hate them when I know of so many other product groups at Adobe that are truly trying to do the right thing. It's like finally getting the sled team working well together and then that one fucking husky just HAS to turn the wrong way. Sigh.

Categories: Adobe, Installers

Posted by John C. Welch at 12:44 | Permalink

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So I get the weekly \"Your Flash plugin is too old\" message, because hey, it's Flash. (Motto: If you aren't installing Flash all the time, YOU'RE A BAD PERSON)\n\nOkay, go to the download site, download the latest, go searching for the package installer....it's gone. \n\nNot only is the package installer GONE, but you don't even download the entire installer. You get a stub that then downloads the REST of the install.\n\nSo let's see if I get this straight. Instead of fixing what was a fairly minor issue with the previous installer, the solution was to remove the one, the one good part about installing Flash, and then go back the worst parts of what Acrobat 8? 7? for one of those fucking, gods-be-damned, multipart installer downloads.\n\nTHIS ISN'T EVEN TO INSTALL A PRODUCT ANYONE FUCKING WANTS ANYMORE.\n\nThe only reason, the only reason I install this piece of festering shit is because I have a few work-critical applications that require it. Were that not the case, I would happily, happily ban Flash from my network. It would not only reduce frustration levels, IT WOULD MAKE MY NETWORK MORE FUCKING SECURE.\n\nThat is how fucking stupid the Flash Plugin management team is. They have a product that no. one likes, is forever causing security problems, and they go out of their way to find the very few things about the fucking Flash plugin that don't suck, and ratfuck them into the ground. Do they get paid by the hate? Is hate even a currency? It must be, and it must pay well, because the only fucking bit of sanity I can tease out of the Flash Plugin team's moves for the last decade is that they are on a mission to be the first truly universally hated software product. It is the only thing that makes any fucking sense. I'm surprised they didn't include a copy on Curiosity, after all, why limit the hate to just one planet?\n\nOh, they do have a \"special license\" you can apply for to redistribute Flash internally. There are a number of problems with that:\n\n

Fuck You. No, really. Fuck. You. My company writes truly huge checks to Adobe on a regular basis, and you want me to jump through a hoop so I can install a fucking plugin? A free plugin? There are not enough letters in \"fuck you\" to adequately describe all the \"fuck you\"s that creates.
This is not software you pay for. It is free. It is free if I download it once, it is free if I write a script that does nothing but download it, then deletes the download, and then redownloads it forever. There is no reason for this kind of shit, and I'd guess whomever implemented it is the same tit who thinks I'm going to do this for Adobe AIR. This is stupid. No one, no one has ever explained this in a way that is not stupid. Going through life being stupid just because you can is a bad idea for a frat boy, and now we have a product team using stupidity as their distribution model. Fuck, may as well make me install it from a floppy if we're going to make idiocy the primary goal
Based on what I see from the current public installer, and the last few months, I have zero confidence in the Flash Plugin team's ability to create a proper installer anyway, and they want me to sign a special agreement for a product I don't think they can actually create? ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH ALLLLLLLLL THE TIME??? You want me to license something I have no proof exists? NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

\n\nEvery time, every fucking time I think the Flash team can get no stupider, they prove me so very, very wrong...wait...wait...no, Dowdell hasn't had a new post since June of 2011, but I have faith.\n\nThere may be someone not on the Flash Plugin team that doesn't hate the Flash Plugin, so BETTER GET TO FUCKING WORK ON THAT GUYS, YOU'RE SLACKING OFF.\n\nChrist, I truly hate product groups that are that relentlessly stupid. I especially hate them when I know of so many other product groups at Adobe that are truly trying to do the right thing. It's like finally getting the sled team working well together and then that one fucking husky just HAS to turn the wrong way. Sigh.