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So some time ago, I got a heads-up from Greg Neagle about some issues with the Adobe Flash Installers doing stupid crap. I posted about it, because a) if Greg is going to post about it, then it's going to be an actual problem. I've known Greg a while, and he's not one to say "this is borked" unless he has real data that it's borked. It's also safe to assume, Greg being Greg, that he'll do his best to ensure the vendor knows about it, in a sober, calm way with supporting data. I respect Greg a lot, and I love it when people listen to him, because his way of doing things is how it should work.

The calm, reasonable pointing out of error with supporting data should be the thing that wins. Not me. Greg.

That was some months ago, and I'd hoped that it was a temporary thing and we'd see it fixed soon.

NOPE

GODDAMNIT TO HELL

Why is this still fucking happening? I'd go look at the Flash blogs, but that's about useless unless you make games. The OOBE blog doesn't talk about it, but i'm pretty sure those guys don't run the Flash installer.

And seriously, this? Adobe Flash Player Distribution

WHY?????

What in the name of Cthulu's eleventh nipple makes you think that installing Flash Player on corporate machines within an org is the same as handing it out to J. Random Person via your own website/physical media. We just want some simple things:

1. An installer that works with the platform's native distribution tools


2. An installer that doesn't LIE to us and say it installed correctly, when six seconds of work shows it did not.

It's not like we're talking about a particularly complicated install. Look, what the package installs via Pacifist:

It's not a lot. it's a fairly simple install. It's less complicated than say Acrobat XI's, much less CS. Yet over and over, if you use that package to install, it fucks up the updater in system prefs. Of course, in fairness, I must admit, that Adobe only supports one method of "silent" install. From the Adobe Flash Player 11.5 Administration Guide:

DMG installation for Macintosh For Mac OS X Universal Binary or Power PC, you use a DMG installer. Double-click the DMG file to mount it on your desktop and create an Adobe Flash Player Package installer. Note that mounting the .dmg uncompresses to the installer.app, rather than to the .pkg, as it did in earlier versions. Double-click this application and follow the guided installation instructions. Note: Flash Player 11 or later is not supported on Power PCs.

Silent installation of Flash Player

Do the following to silently install Flash Player 11.3 on Mac:

1 Extract the Adobe Flash Player installer bundle (Install Adobe Flash Player.app) from the .DMG file.

2 Open a terminal window and change to the directory where the .app file is saved.

For example, if the .app file is saved on the Desktop of the current user, type: cd ~/Desktop

3 Run the installer contained in the .app file using the following command:

sudo ./Install Adobe Flash Player.app/Contents/MacOS/Adobe Flash Player Install Manager -install

4 Type the password to proceed with the installation.

Note: You need to be a super user to proceed with the installation.

Note: This is the only supported method to install Flash Player silently on Mac. Other methods, such as extracting and installing the .pkg file, are not supported and not recommended.

Okay, look, whomever wrote this:

THAT IS NOT A SILENT INSTALL YOU FUCKING GOON. That is the fucking opposite of a silent install in that it is not invisible to the user.

What's better? That's the ONLY mention of an OS X install for flash player. For windows? Fuck, how many ways you want it? Via Active Directory? Done. Via Microsoft SCUP? Done. SMS 2003? DONE.

Shit, they have how many ways to do this on windows, and the only way they talk about on OS X isn't even what they're saying it is? It's not just the installer that's lying to you, it's the fucking documentation too. Beelzebub's tits, we don't need half of the shit windows does. We just need a package installer that's not fucking broken. The ACROBAT team gets this.

Let me say this again:

THE ADOBE ACROBAT TEAM HAS A BETTER OS X INSTALLER THAN YOU DO

Given Acrobat's history on the platform, that's saying something. I mean, that's the kind of shame that means something.

All of this though, all of this installer fuckuppery is rendered far worse by how much of a security hole Flash is. You would think...you would want to think that in light of that, in light of how fast security-driven updates have to be cranked out for that fucking plugin, and how people are always looking for a reason to banish that fucker from their networks, that the Flash Team would be saying "Man, we need to make this easy as hell to distribute and update. We can't afford to throw up any speedbumps to this." Yeah, you'd think that, I'd think that, but we're reasonable people.

THIS.

IS.

FLASH.

Keep in mind that this is the same team that allowed a petulant zipperhead like John Dowdell be their main voice to the world up until June of 2011 or so. I'd hoped that ending was a sign they were coming out of their cone of dumb, and interacting with the world the way it is. But someone still has a foot nailed to the floor so, TZA-DAHHHHH!

Look, we don't need a fucking redistribution license. We don't need pages of complex howtos in your documentation. We don't need short paragraphs that don't talk about what they purport to. All we want, all we want is for the package installer in Flash to not be fucked up. To not lie to us. To do what we expect it to do. This is something you would think the Flash Player people would want as well. It's not like you don't have resources at Adobe. Go talk to the Installer Team for CS. Talk to Jody Rogers. Fuck, go talk to the Acrobat team. They will tell you that making the installers work correctly goes a long, long way towards making IT people not want to burn your product to ashes and leave it in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. Given that the Flash plugin is on so many people's "Can't we just get rid of this fucking thing yet" list, why are you giving us valid reasons to do just that.

And STOP BEING SUCH TITS ABOUT IT! IT'S BORKED, FIX THE FUCKING THING ALREADY.

Comments

So some time ago, I got a heads-up from Greg Neagle about some issues with the Adobe Flash Installers doing stupid crap. I posted about it, because a) if Greg is going to post about it, then it's going to be an actual problem. I've known Greg a while, and he's not one to say \"this is borked\" unless he has real data that it's borked. It's also safe to assume, Greg being Greg, that he'll do his best to ensure the vendor knows about it, in a sober, calm way with supporting data. I respect Greg a lot, and I love it when people listen to him, because his way of doing things is how it should work.\n\nThe calm, reasonable pointing out of error with supporting data should be the thing that wins. Not me. Greg. \n\nThat was some months ago, and I'd hoped that it was a temporary thing and we'd see it fixed soon. \n\nNOPE\n\nGODDAMNIT TO HELL\n\nWhy is this still fucking happening? I'd go look at the Flash blogs, but that's about useless unless you make games. The OOBE blog doesn't talk about it, but i'm pretty sure those guys don't run the Flash installer. \n\nAnd seriously, this? Adobe Flash Player Distribution \n\nWHY????? \n\nWhat in the name of Cthulu's eleventh nipple makes you think that installing Flash Player on corporate machines within an org is the same as handing it out to J. Random Person via your own website/physical media. We just want some simple things:\n

1. An installer that works with the platform's native distribution tools
\n
2. An installer that doesn't LIE to us and say it installed correctly, when six seconds of work shows it did not.
\n

\nThis is not fucking acceptable, especially when it didn't USED to break. It USED to work correctly. Now it doesn't and it's been that way for a while. I don't give a fuck about your \"distribution\" agreement, especially given how few fucks you give about an installer that fucking works correctly.\n\nIt's not like we're talking about a particularly complicated install. Look, what the package installs via Pacifist:\n\n\n\nIt's not a lot. it's a fairly simple install. It's less complicated than say Acrobat XI's, much less CS. Yet over and over, if you use that package to install, it fucks up the updater in system prefs. Of course, in fairness, I must admit, that Adobe only supports one method of \"silent\" install. From the Adobe Flash Player 11.5 Administration Guide:\n\n

DMG installation for Macintosh\nFor Mac OS X Universal Binary or Power PC, you use a DMG installer. Double-click the DMG file to mount it on your desktop and create an Adobe Flash Player Package installer. Note that mounting the .dmg uncompresses to the installer.app, rather than to the .pkg, as it did in earlier versions. Double-click this application and follow the guided installation instructions.\nNote: Flash Player 11 or later is not supported on Power PCs. \n\nSilent installation of Flash Player\n\nDo the following to silently install Flash Player 11.3 on Mac:
\n1 Extract the Adobe Flash Player installer bundle (Install Adobe Flash Player.app) from the .DMG file.
\n2 Open a terminal window and change to the directory where the .app file is saved.
\nFor example, if the .app file is saved on the Desktop of the current user, type: cd ~/Desktop
\n3 Run the installer contained in the .app file using the following command:
\n sudo ./Install Adobe Flash Player.app/Contents/MacOS/Adobe Flash Player Install Manager -install
\n4 Type the password to proceed with the installation.
\nNote: You need to be a super user to proceed with the installation.
\nNote: This is the only supported method to install Flash Player silently on Mac. Other methods, such as extracting and installing the .pkg file, are not supported and not recommended.

\n\nOkay, look, whomever wrote this:\n\nTHAT IS NOT A SILENT INSTALL YOU FUCKING GOON. That is the fucking opposite of a silent install in that it is not invisible to the user. \n\nWhat's better? That's the ONLY mention of an OS X install for flash player. For windows? Fuck, how many ways you want it? Via Active Directory? Done. Via Microsoft SCUP? Done. SMS 2003? DONE.\n\nShit, they have how many ways to do this on windows, and the only way they talk about on OS X isn't even what they're saying it is? It's not just the installer that's lying to you, it's the fucking documentation too. Beelzebub's tits, we don't need half of the shit windows does. We just need a package installer that's not fucking broken. The ACROBAT team gets this.\n\nLet me say this again:\n\nTHE ADOBE ACROBAT TEAM HAS A BETTER OS X INSTALLER THAN YOU DO\n\nGiven Acrobat's history on the platform, that's saying something. I mean, that's the kind of shame that means something. \n\nAll of this though, all of this installer fuckuppery is rendered far worse by how much of a security hole Flash is. You would think...you would want to think that in light of that, in light of how fast security-driven updates have to be cranked out for that fucking plugin, and how people are always looking for a reason to banish that fucker from their networks, that the Flash Team would be saying \"Man, we need to make this easy as hell to distribute and update. We can't afford to throw up any speedbumps to this.\" Yeah, you'd think that, I'd think that, but we're reasonable people. \n\nTHIS. \n\nIS. \n\nFLASH. \n\nKeep in mind that this is the same team that allowed a petulant zipperhead like John Dowdell be their main voice to the world up until June of 2011 or so. I'd hoped that ending was a sign they were coming out of their cone of dumb, and interacting with the world the way it is. But someone still has a foot nailed to the floor so, TZA-DAHHHHH!\n\nLook, we don't need a fucking redistribution license. We don't need pages of complex howtos in your documentation. We don't need short paragraphs that don't talk about what they purport to. All we want, all we want is for the package installer in Flash to not be fucked up. To not lie to us. To do what we expect it to do. This is something you would think the Flash Player people would want as well. It's not like you don't have resources at Adobe. Go talk to the Installer Team for CS. Talk to Jody Rogers. Fuck, go talk to the Acrobat team. They will tell you that making the installers work correctly goes a long, long way towards making IT people not want to burn your product to ashes and leave it in the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. Given that the Flash plugin is on so many people's \"Can't we just get rid of this fucking thing yet\" list, why are you giving us valid reasons to do just that.\n\nAnd STOP BEING SUCH TITS ABOUT IT! IT'S BORKED, FIX THE FUCKING THING ALREADY.