March 20, 2012
Today's Episode, from Pando Daily, by our old friend MG Siegler:
Help! I’m Being Forced To Pirate Game Of Thrones Against My Will!
No I'm not kidding. That's the name of the piece.
Is there ANYTHING that fuckstick does that isn't someone else's fault?| Comments ()
March 14, 2012
So completely unaware of the world
Anyone reading this site, or who knows me is aware of a minor facet of my personality: John hates new media douchebags. In fact, I just created a new site category for them. However, the reasons why are sometimes less clear. While their mannerisms, general condescension, and pretense are highly annoying, the real "sin" of the New Media Douchebag is their complete lack of respect for reality.
Not truth, as "truth" can be based on one's point of view. For me, it is "truth" that Led Zeppelin is the greatest band of all time, but I couldn't really say that such a statement is reality. An New Media Douchebag promulgating some pretentious idiocy as truth is just annoying. It is when they ignore reality that I get the real irrits. Take the current A-#1 poster child of all things New Media Douchebag, M.G. Siegler, and his site, Paris LeMON. About a month ago, he wrote yet another puff piece called "On The Road", (really, when talking about Siegler, I think that's rather redundant) with the following:
The other day, I got an email from a gentleman named Seth. As a regular reader, he wanted to give me some honest feedback on my writing as of late. I wanted to share a portion of what he wrote:For me, it’s usually the first sign that a band is about done making good music when their songs stop being about love and girls and starts to be about how hard it is to be on the road, or to be famous, or to be attacked, etc. I really prefer writing that tries mightily to avoid ad hominem attacks, and that avoids self-referential topics—critique the arguments and ignore the attackers.
All fair points. And the music analogy is an especially good one, I think.
That last bit stuck in my head for awhile, and I wasn't sure why. It's not because Siegler was revealing some great truth. In fact, it reeked of bullshit, but I was busy, and it took until last night to coalesce when I remembered these lyrics:
Most times you can't hear 'em talk,
Other times you can
All the same old cliches,
"Is that a woman or a man?"
And you always seem outnumbered,
You don't dare make a stand
Here I am
On the road again
For those of you not posessed of a proper musical education, those lyrics are from "Turn the Page", by Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band. The song is considered a classic of American rock, and one of Seger's best songs. Metallica covered it, harder, (although not better) with a brutal video that makes the entire song about a woman and what she'll go through to feed her kids and how trapped she is by it all.
I still prefer the Seger version.
Another one from the same era:
I have a mansion
Forget the price
Ain't never been there
They tell me it's nice
I live in hotels
Tear out the walls
I have accountants
Pay for it all
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far
Joe Walsh, with "Life's Been Good", one of his best songs. (It's no "I Like Big Tits", but it's good.) Walsh's commentary on the insanity of the "Rock Star" lifestyle is a little more wry and self-deprecating, but still, a song about the thing Siegler insists is when you start to become crap, and it's anything but. Even if you don't like the song, it is not a bad song, and it is provably one of Joe Walsh's biggest hits.
A more modern one:
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're alone
All you do is think
I'm a cowboy
On a steel horse I ride
Dead or alive
Bon Jovi, "Wanted: Dead or Alive".
I'm not a huge Bon Jovi fan, but I will listen to that song any time it plays, it's rather well-done.
Singing to an ocean, I can hear the ocean's roar
Play for free, play for me and play a whole lot more, more!
Singing about good things and the sun that lights the day
I used to sing on the mountains, has the ocean lost it's way.
Led Zeppelin: "The Ocean", wherein the "ocean" is how the fans at a concert looked to the band from the stage.
(This was off of "Houses of the Holy", the album before what most consider their best work, "Physical Graffiti". Hardly the work of a band in decline.)
It is trivial to find good song after good song from musicians talking about the fucked-up life that they lead. These, and other examples are not "crap", or "the first sign that a band is about done making good music". They are songs about real things, the life these people are leading. If the band actually sucks, then the songs will suck, but then, they will suck regardless of subject. But to dismiss them as evidence of decline is to ignore reality, and indeed, wave away some of the best music at least two countries have created. FWIW, I think of the genre, it is hard to be Seger's look. It's unforgiving, stark, and the way Seger performs it gives it a weight that other similar songs lack.
But this is the New Media Douchebag world. If it fits your narrative, you run with it. Even if it denies reality. (You don't have to like any of these songs to acknowledge the reality that Siegler, and his correspondent are full of shit with their statements on them. I don't like a lot of country, yet I can freely acknowledge the critical contributions of people like Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, George Jones, Conway Twitty, Buck Owens, Roy Clark, Johnny Cash and a host of others as being of critical importance to American music, and that all genres would be lacking something without the influence of these and other artists.) In fact, I'd not be surprised if before a year is up from his "On the Road" post, Siegler, in that self-unaware way NMDs have, is writing yet more "On the Road" stories. For which he'll apologize, and promise to stop doing. Until the next time. Lather, rinse, repeat.
If one doesn't wish to write "On the Road" stories, one has the option of simply stopping. One does not need a page of bullshit using unfounded crap as justification to do so. Simply stop and write about other things. One doesn't even need to explain it.
But then, if one doesn't make everything in one's life something to be announced to the world, then one cannot get the attention one craves.
We can't have that, now can we?| Comments ()
March 13, 2012
We Did This
I don't talk about my "real" job often here. Not out of any "getting in trouble" issues, but this is my personal site, and I like to keep it separate.
But every so often, the really smart, talented people I work with do something amazing, and sometimes I even get to help. Yesterday, we released an amazing thing, MyNyte. I won't go into details on it, my boss, who was involved from from the start does a much better job on his site.
I wasn't directly involved, but I got to help here and there, and I am impressed down to my toes at the work that went, and is still going, into this, and the results. I work with some really smart people, and they do really amazing work, and so this time, Ima brag about it a bit.| Comments ()
March 7, 2012
This is what all this crap is for
Om Malik has a fantastic post up about his mom and facetime. Go and read it.
That, for all you silicon valley circle-jerking dumbasses, that is what Apple is after. That is what every company should be after. Not specs, not bullshit tricks and "features", but creating things that people use to make their life better. The iPad isn't the only device that could do this, not technically. But only Apple gives a fuck enough to build out the entire system so that people, normal, average, everyday people can pick the damned thing up and use it in a way that makes their lives a little better and a little brighter.
I see all the geeks going on and on about how Facebook is going to die, then I actually go on Facebook and see my Aunt Roni on it keeping in touch with the entire Welch clan, (no easy feat, my dad was the only one of 7-8 kids to have LESS than 4 children), and I think, "nope".
This is what this shit is for. It's for Om's grandmother, or back in 2003, when I told a friend of mine at the Palm Beach Post about how her boss could use Skype to call his family in Jamaica for a dime a minute. It seems like a little thing, but that let him talk to his family whenever he wanted for as long as he wanted. The tech may have been a little thing, but for him, it was a way to finally have the kind of relaxed phone calls with his family that he wanted, that he deserved, and not have to worry about how much it cost.
That folks, is what technology is for: making people's lives better.
When you read geeks flailing around because Apple isn't making stuff for them, relax. As long as Apple keeps making stuff for Om's mom so she can bother him in meetings with the mundane stuff that makes up our lives, they're going to do just fine.| Comments ()
March 6, 2012
I think we all know who was the badass here
| Comments ()
picard and sisko both copyright of Paramount Pictures and probably a lot of other people. This is all about the DS9 love.
March 2, 2012
This is why you should ignore the lot of them
If you want to know why AMB et al rail about New Media Douchebags both on our show, our individual sites/twitter accounts, etc., here, let me show you precisely why none of them are worth the raw element costs of their bodily wastes.
Yesterday, March 1st, 2012, MG Siegler, on his vomitously titled "Paris LeMON" site wrote, in "Prompts" the following:
The New York Times apparently wants us to have smartphones that prompt you to make sure you want to turn them on, prompt you to make sure you want to open an app, prompt you to make sure you want to send a tweet, prompt you to make sure you want to jump from an app to a web page, prompt you to make sure you want to adjust the brightness (a stranger may be able to read your phone more easily over your shoulder!!).
We’re one step away from a call for apps that prompt you if you’d like a prompt about something. Excuse me while I go hide in a hut in the woods and write a manifesto.
Okay? So we're clear, just adding prompts is not a solution, but a fucking pain in the ass that makes you hate using your device, right? This is bad, right?
Well, less than a fucking month ago, Siegler wrote, on 8 Feb. 2012, in his "Path, Not Pathological" idiocy:
Yes, it’s weird that Apple, which has the App Store approval process on lock-down and requires prompts for things like accessing location information doesn’t do the same for address book information. My understanding is that Apple has been looking at this issue and it will probably change in a future iOS update.
So prompts were good on February 8th, but twenty-two days later they were bad.
This. This kind of shit is why idiots like Siegler and all the rest should be ignored. Because they are fundamentally full of shit, and think you are so stupid that you would completely forget what they wrote not a month ago. Multiple times. From ""Stealing" Your Address Book" also on 8 February, 2012:
And again, from what I hear, Apple is likely to change this soon as well. But I’m with Curtis, I can’t understand why this unrestricted access was in place to begin with. I really can’t think of a good reason.
So on multiple occasions, Siegler was all in favor of prompts. Then on March 1st, oh no, what a stupid idea, prompts for all that. I mean, can you imagine how bad that could get?
Well *I* can, I was one of the first, and few people to say this shit is getting stupid. Siegler was all in favor of prompts. So what the fuck changed? Was February "Prompt Month" or something?
This is why you don't trust a fucking thing they say, and why you ignore, nay, actively mock their pretentious bullshit and whining: because at the end of the day, they only care about hit counts and attention. Everything else, including the truth, has no place compared to those.
Prompts are bad good, but only in February. I guess he gave that idea up for lent.
(correction thanks to Matt Madison)| Comments ()
March 1, 2012
Getting Apple Mail to read its own data
Yes, I know in a sane world, this wouldn't be a problem. But, because Apple has decided that the only thing that counts as far as "what something is" anymore is the friggin' filename extension, and because the Mail team does some really stupid crap sometimes, like having Mail decide that ".imapmbox" means "OMG, WHAT IS THIS MYSTERIOUS THING" whereas if you change that same extension to ".mbox" Mail suddenly says "O HAI MBOX, I KNOW YOU".
(seriously, you could totally hose someone's day by a screipt that changes every existing file extension to ".pissoff" or adds that extension if it doesn't exist. The OS and none of the Apps outside of maybe Office would know what the fuck to do with the resultant mess. You'd pretty much have to restore the home directory from backup, you'd never get that sorted out. DoS via file extension. AWESOME. Even more awesome, that wouldn't have worked with earlier versions of the OS. It was only when Apple lost its MIND around snow leopard or so that this became possible. Friggin' OS 9 is immune to that crap. the Computer would be fine, but the poor bastards using it would.be.screwed. No authentication needed, no elevated privs. Just chaos.)
Stupid crap. Seriously, Mail CREATES the friggin' .imapmbox and then is too stupid to recognize its own data. Why? WHO KNOWS! Only the dips who coded it know. Maybe one day they can explain that, along with why Mail can't import a folder full of the .eml/.emlx files IT FRIGGIN' CREATES.
Mail is one of the stupidest goddamned Apps on the planet, but it's free, so I'm stuck with it. At least Lion fixes this somewhat. But if you aren't on Lion, you're in .imapmbox hell.
Anyway, there are times when you need to convert the .imapmbox folders that Mail uses for IMAP cached data to .mbox formats. There's a variety of reasons, and here's a quick script to help you with that:
set theFindparameters to " -name \"*.imapmbox\""
set theFiles to quoted form of POSIX path of (choose folder)
set theCommand to "/usr/bin/find " & theFiles & theFindparameters
with timeout of 3600 seconds
set theIMAPMboxList to do shell script theCommand
set theIMAPMboxList to every paragraph of theIMAPMboxList
tell application "Finder"
repeat with x in theIMAPMboxList
set theFolder to (x as POSIX file) as alias
set the name extension of theFolder to "mbox"
The script is pretty simple. We set up a variable to hold the "meat" of the find command, aka "find everything ending in .imapmbox".
We then run choose folder to get the starting point, and convert that to a quoted POSIX path.
Then, build the find command, and run it with a time out of an hour. (if you think that's just ridiculous, go trolling through how Mail handles large, complicated IMAP folder structures sometime, and tell me how ridiculous it actually is.)
Once that's done, we convert the return from the find command from text to a list of file paths.
Then, have the finder iterate through that, first converting the POSIX path to an alias, then changing the name extension to "mbox"
that's it. Takes about 2 minutes for the find command to build a list of a thousand or so folders, and about two seconds for the extension change on all of them.
The fact this script is needed for any reason is pretty goddamned sad.| Comments ()