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Stop dicking around already

But there's a deeper meaning behind it, and a lot of that meaning is: Don't waste my time. You want Mike's experience, expertise, and skill? Don't lowball him, don't fuck around. Pay him a grand an hour, and let him apply his abilities in ways that can help you. I finished reading that, and recalled my own deliberately limited consulting history, and realized that Mike was making a really good point. There's little more annoying than getting talked into consulting for someone, and finding out they either want to dick around with your rate, or dick around with what they're paying for. It's bullshit, and it's insulting, and it happens too much.

For example, while I'll help out friends/people I like for anything from money to beer to gear, that works because we both understand that either side can, and will tell the other to go fuck off if one of us gets too demanding. Obviously that's not going to work for long-term projects, but for the kind of one-off thing I do for folks, it works, and keeps things simple.

But if we're talking about 'formal' consulting, and I don't know you, then it changes. For one, my prices go way up. Currently, if you're local to Tallahassee, it's $2000 a day plus expenses. If you're in driving distance, then it's $4000 a day plus expenses. If I have to fly, then it's $5000 a day plus expenses.

Stop laughing, i completely understand those prices are ridiculous. I want them to be, because to be honest, consulting is a pain in my ass, and that's what you're paying for: that money overcomes the level of pain in my ass your problems are. Those rates do a number of things:

First, if you agree to that shit, I know you're serious. I know we're not going to spend a lot of time dickering around like a bazaar merchant.

Second, it means you have a real problem. Something that you can't easily handle, and it means it's a problem I can do something about. It means the chances of me discovering you decided "IT" is some kind of catchall and what you really wanted is a programmer are pretty low. If you're going to agree to those rates, you're not doing so blindly

It also means that you understand that the contract we have won't be to dick you over or dick me over. It's there to clearly explain who is doing what, so that no one gets hurt by unrealistic expectations.

Finally, it means no one's dicking about. For that kind of money, you're not going to want to waste my time, since you're paying for that time, and rather handsomely. You're not going to fuck about, I'm not going to fuck about. Life will be much easier for all that way.

I'm really serious about this, because while I can't speak for Mike, I can tell you that sysadmin consultants rarely get called in under good circumstances. Sometimes, but that's only when you have a client who realizes they don't have internal expertise, and need shit done quickly, too quickly to get it done in house. Those are the best, because there's no hurt feelings, and you're not a cover for intercine office wars.

That's what we all want. No dicking around, no hurt feelings, no drama. You know my skills, I know your problem, we get shit fixed quickly, and everyone's happy.

I totally get where Mike's coming from with his rate, and i think he's pretty fucking brilliant for it. His clients get someone well worth the money, and he gets clients who aren't going to piss and moan and waste his time with it. Not at that rate they won't.

Categories: Other

Posted by John C. Welch at 16:17 | Permalink

Comments

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I know this will be scary for some of you, especially Notes fans. However, open standards, rah-rah.
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So, as is my habit, as soon as Safari tells me Mike Lee has updated his website, I immediately go and read what's he's written. It's a hell of a post, although at first blush it might seem egotistical, since it's him explaining why he's worth a grand an hour.\n\nBut there's a deeper meaning behind it, and a lot of that meaning is: Don't waste my time. You want Mike's experience, expertise, and skill? Don't lowball him, don't fuck around. Pay him a grand an hour, and let him apply his abilities in ways that can help you. I finished reading that, and recalled my own deliberately limited consulting history, and realized that Mike was making a really good point. There's little more annoying than getting talked into consulting for someone, and finding out they either want to dick around with your rate, or dick around with what they're paying for. It's bullshit, and it's insulting, and it happens too much.\n\nFor example, while I'll help out friends/people I like for anything from money to beer to gear, that works because we both understand that either side can, and will tell the other to go fuck off if one of us gets too demanding. Obviously that's not going to work for long-term projects, but for the kind of one-off thing I do for folks, it works, and keeps things simple. \n\nBut if we're talking about 'formal' consulting, and I don't know you, then it changes. For one, my prices go way up. Currently, if you're local to Tallahassee, it's \$2000 a day plus expenses. If you're in driving distance, then it's \$4000 a day plus expenses. If I have to fly, then it's \$5000 a day plus expenses. \n\nStop laughing, i completely understand those prices are ridiculous. I want them to be, because to be honest, consulting is a pain in my ass, and that's what you're paying for: that money overcomes the level of pain in my ass your problems are. Those rates do a number of things:\n

First, if you agree to that shit, I know you're serious. I know we're not going to spend a lot of time dickering around like a bazaar merchant.
Second, it means you have a real problem. Something that you can't easily handle, and it means it's a problem I can do something about. It means the chances of me discovering you decided \"IT\" is some kind of catchall and what you really wanted is a programmer are pretty low. If you're going to agree to those rates, you're not doing so blindly
It also means that you understand that the contract we have won't be to dick you over or dick me over. It's there to clearly explain who is doing what, so that no one gets hurt by unrealistic expectations.
Finally, it means no one's dicking about. For that kind of money, you're not going to want to waste my time, since you're paying for that time, and rather handsomely. You're not going to fuck about, I'm not going to fuck about. Life will be much easier for all that way.

\nI'm really serious about this, because while I can't speak for Mike, I can tell you that sysadmin consultants rarely get called in under good circumstances. Sometimes, but that's only when you have a client who realizes they don't have internal expertise, and need shit done quickly, too quickly to get it done in house. Those are the best, because there's no hurt feelings, and you're not a cover for intercine office wars. \n\nThat's what we all want. No dicking around, no hurt feelings, no drama. You know my skills, I know your problem, we get shit fixed quickly, and everyone's happy. \n\nI totally get where Mike's coming from with his rate, and i think he's pretty fucking brilliant for it. His clients get someone well worth the money, and he gets clients who aren't going to piss and moan and waste his time with it. Not at that rate they won't.