« What a marriage should start with | Main | NMD Schadenfreude »

Dear Acrobat Team:

Once again, I would like to thank you for the shitacular way you send patches. I'm sure you're very proud of your proprietary "only works manually" patches. I think that you should be forced to go to every site with more than 5 computers and run your fucking shitpile patches for us.

I can forgive security holes. I do not LIKE them, but humans are imperfect, and therefore, our creations are too. I would prefer not to have security holes, but then, I'd much prefer if shitheads didn't try to use them to cause problems and steal things. But, because humans are still a bunch of screeching fucking monkeys throwing shit at each other, we have the current situation.

What I cannot forgive is when a company makes it as difficult as possible to apply critical patches. That is why I think whomever keeps approving the current Acrobat patching methodology, whomever keeps rejecting the calls to release patches in the native format used by various admin tools on whatever platform Acrobat runs on should not only be fired, along with any sycophants who agreed with them, but publicly named and shamed. There is no more excuse for this from you, or anyone else really. Even Microsoft got this, with Office 2008.

I don't give a fuck why you do this for critical security patches, nor do I fucking care. Because see, it doesn't matter that you released it in a timely manner. Due to the unforgivably manual process you force upon your customers to apply this patch, it will, not may, but will be delayed, because you ensured that it would be. You forced that delay upon us, because you're too fucking cheap, lazy, stupid, or whatever to say "for time-sensitive critical patches, we will take the effort to release them in the format(s) that ensure they are applied as quickly as possible".

Fuck you, you should be billed for all the extra costs your stupid bullshit costs and the day we no longer need your shitty software methodology, I shall throw a "rm Acrobat" party.

Hoping you get your ass kicked by a vendor who cares about their customers, and the lot of you have to work in the cafeteria,

john

Comments