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So somehow, because my bile levels aren't high enough, I find something both rare and common:
Rare, in that it's an Adobe blog not written by John Nack that appears to update more than once a quarter, and common in that it's an Adobe blog written by someone who when presented with anything other than a love fest, (This one's thing appears to be Flash, so we'll go with...Flashatio) retreats into whiny sarcasm and really, really stupid ideas.
How stupid?
Well, for example, when presented with the fact that the Flash plugin on anything but Windows makes your browser sputter and crash, Flashboy takes two tactics: First, you have too many tabs open and you should use a Flash Blocker. You're browser will still crash, but slower. No, I'm sure as fuck not making this up. It's in this post, in my comment. Here, for your...is "appallment" even a word? If not, it should be.
Wait, in ten years, will Adobe have a version of Flash that runs well on something BESIDES Windows? [jd sez: No reason to think non-Windows will go away during the decade, so "Probably, yes". ;-) ]Because that would be beautiful. No more watching browsers spinlock because of flash. No more browser crashes because of Flash. Just a smooth experience, because one.single.plugin cannot be written in a way that does not make you think you're using dialup on a Mac Plus. [jd sez: Got too many tabs from pushy sites on a weaker browser? Try a Flash blocker, control your load. Will still crash, but slower cycle.]
So, what will come first: HTML 5 release and acceptance, or a non-windows Flash implementation that isn't utter garbage?
Taking bets now. I lean towards HTML 5, given the lack of caring by Adobe to Flash performance issues on !Windows to date.
Use.A.Flash.Blocker.
That's his response. Not "Yes, the problems with Flash performance on platforms other than Windows has been a problem for years, and we're working hard to fix that". Not "Well, I'm not in Flash engineering, but I'll pass that along to the team". No, his advice is to use a Flash Blocker. Your "weaker" browser will still crash, but hey, IT'LL CRASH SLOWER, AND THAT'S ALMOST AS GOOD AS NOT CRASHING, RIGHT?
Why not just call me a fucking worthless hippie for not using a "real" browser in a "real" OS and be done with it. Jesus!
Where the FUCK does Adobe find these nitwits, and WHY are they allowed to interact with the public? Holy fuck, if I was the Flash Engineering Manager, I'd be roaming the halls with a taser, a box of salt and a wet towel, screaming his name. If there was any better way to make me hope that fucking Silverlight, HTML 5, or a backup method disaster killed Flash fucking dead, I can't think of it.
"Got too many tabs from pushy sites on a weaker browser? Try a Flash blocker, control your load. Will still crash, but slower cycle."
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
Here's a tip John...(Why the FUCK do these nitwits have to have my name?)...go talk to the Adobe Installer team. Learn how they deal with criticism, blistering and otherwise. Those guys? They're doing it right. You? Not so much.
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Adobe Can Kiss My Ass, Fucking Flash
Categories: Adobe, Mac Matters
Posted by John C. Welch at 22:49 | Permalink
©2003-until I'm fucking dead and then some. you steal my shit, and I will fuck with you like you were a lonely shepherd's slowest sheep.
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