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Dear Blogerati

No one fucking cares how many times you went into the Apple Store, Wal*Mart, Target, Tiffany, or the local porn store.

We don't care why you think netbooks or <new trend that only appeals to geek nimrods> are going to take over the world, because honestly, you're so wrong every time that there's not enough letters in the word "wrong" to describe the wrong-ness of how wrong you are.

We don't give a fuck about your inane-assed pontifications about what the number of twitter followers you have vs. how many people you follow means.

We don't care about all the shit you talk about Second Life, "unconferences", and all the rest of that shit. Why?

Because you're living in a fucking bubble and are out of touch with everyone save the blogerati on either side of you in the circle jerk, and I doubt you even know which one has their hand in your crotch without looking down. We don't use twitter because it's cool, we use it because it's useful, and we kinda like it the way it is. We don't need advanced search, tagging, complicated-assed APIs or all the rest of that shit you think we need.

We don't give a fuck about who FaceBook is doing deals with. We only care about getting people to stop sending us fucking little green plants and flair. Other than that, it's just a way to keep in touch with people. Even people who aren't in the Blogerati TechDork Circle Jerk.

People like you are why I'm glad Apple doesn't have a corporate blogging presence, and that Jobs tells you all to kiss his ass. Because if they did, you'd fuck it all up for the rest of us anyway, and honestly, listening to you cry makes me happy. Watching how easy it is for any corporate marketing tool to manipulate you simpletons proves to me that the lot of you have less sense than a melted snowman. All they have to do is put up a blog, a twitter account, and make the right noises, and all of you line up to give them a rusty trombone, without ever thinking ONCE about "is this actually doing something useful, or are they just manipulating me for free PR?" Nope...you see the right social media checkboxes filled, and you drop to your knees so fast you get windburn on your ears. Morons.

So, do us all a favor. Just shut the fuck up already until you have something useful to say, because honestly, my cat has more insight into the world than you do, and she's a fucking idiot of a feline.

I'd say maybe you should talk to people outside of your bubble, but why would I want to inflict you on the rest of the world. It's bad enough you're even peripherally in mine. So really...shut up and stop thinking anyone really gives a fuck about your opinions.

Technorati Tags:
Blogosphere = Dorkosphere, Blogosphere = Stupid, Blogtards

Categories: Other

Posted by John C. Welch at 12:35 | Permalink

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No one fucking cares how many times you went into the Apple Store, Wal*Mart, Target, Tiffany, or the local porn store.\n\nWe don't care why you think netbooks or <new trend that only appeals to geek nimrods> are going to take over the world, because honestly, you're so wrong every time that there's not enough letters in the word \"wrong\" to describe the wrong-ness of how wrong you are.\n\nWe don't give a fuck about your inane-assed pontifications about what the number of twitter followers you have vs. how many people you follow means.\n\nWe don't care about all the shit you talk about Second Life, \"unconferences\", and all the rest of that shit. Why?\n\nBecause you're living in a fucking bubble and are out of touch with everyone save the blogerati on either side of you in the circle jerk, and I doubt you even know which one has their hand in your crotch without looking down. We don't use twitter because it's cool, we use it because it's useful, and we kinda like it the way it is. We don't need advanced search, tagging, complicated-assed APIs or all the rest of that shit you think we need.\n\nWe don't give a fuck about who FaceBook is doing deals with. We only care about getting people to stop sending us fucking little green plants and flair. Other than that, it's just a way to keep in touch with people. Even people who aren't in the Blogerati TechDork Circle Jerk. \n\nPeople like you are why I'm glad Apple doesn't have a corporate blogging presence, and that Jobs tells you all to kiss his ass. Because if they did, you'd fuck it all up for the rest of us anyway, and honestly, listening to you cry makes me happy. Watching how easy it is for any corporate marketing tool to manipulate you simpletons proves to me that the lot of you have less sense than a melted snowman. All they have to do is put up a blog, a twitter account, and make the right noises, and all of you line up to give them a rusty trombone, without ever thinking ONCE about \"is this actually doing something useful, or are they just manipulating me for free PR?\" Nope...you see the right social media checkboxes filled, and you drop to your knees so fast you get windburn on your ears. Morons.\n\nSo, do us all a favor. Just shut the fuck up already until you have something useful to say, because honestly, my cat has more insight into the world than you do, and she's a fucking idiot of a feline.\n\nI'd say maybe you should talk to people outside of your bubble, but why would I want to inflict you on the rest of the world. It's bad enough you're even peripherally in mine. So really...shut up and stop thinking anyone really gives a fuck about your opinions. \n\n\n

Technorati Tags:\nBlogosphere = Dorkosphere, Blogosphere = Stupid, Blogtards\n