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...from beating on Adobe. But goddamnit, they keep giving me new, unbruised body parts to work with!
Today's edition: Sneaking applications onto user systems, and then not updating them is fucking stupid!
So kids, did you know what kindly Uncle Adobe does for you when you install Adobe Bridge CS3? Why, he knows that we all love that web stuff, so he makes sure we have the best web framework/renderer out there on both Windows and the Mac.
You mean the IE renderer on Windows and Webkit on the Mac?
Oh silly children, of course not. Remember Uncle Adobe's first and most important rule?
Macs are for dirty fucking patchouli-soaked hippies and only stupid loser scumbags with no hope of a real job or future use them?
You did remember. Okay, now what's Uncle Adobe's second rule?
Everything must be exactly the same!
That's right kids, everything must be exactly the same. So if Uncle Adobe used IE on Windows and Webkit on the Mac, would that be exactly the same? Why of course not! So what should Uncle Adobe do to prevent that terrible, terrible problem?
He could use Webkit! It's open source, lightweight and cross-platform!
Stupid brat, Webkit's an Apple technology! There's no fucking way I'm going to sully my glorious creation with some fucking Mactard code. Where's my fucking woodchipper!
Okay Uncle Adobe, we get the point, here, have the nice purple pills. There we go. No kids, the only option for Uncle Adobe is to use Opera, and bundle the entire application into Bridge. I know, I know, some bad, evil IT people care about what applications get installed on their system, but they're just stupid and uncreative, so we don't care about them.
It's far more important that Uncle Adobe gets to preserve the necessary sameness, just like the beautiful future shown in that wonderful story, "Harrison Bergeron".
Oh sure, the version Adobe hides inside of Bridge is the complete application, but so what? What if you need a web browser? Isn't it nice to know you don't have to live by the random whims of the OS vendor, who might include a browser that isn't exactly the same on all platforms? It's a feature!
But what about keeping Opera up to date with security patches?
Huh? Who let the fucking IT person in? psst! harry! get the taser!
Why, there's no worry about that. The version we include with Bridge in CS3 is 9.20, and that was the last version of Opera ever made, because it was perfect in every way.
OW! Stupid fucker, I'll shove that taser up your ass next time. Bullshit, Opera 9.20 came out over eight months ago, and since then, Opera's had 9 releases, including a major 9.5 release. These include over 30 separate security updates. You're completely full of shit here, and may be compromising your customer's systems, so who the fuck is taking responsibility for keeping your stealth application install up to date?
Well, you're the IT person, go do something besides hassling poor Uncle Adobe, hmm?
What? Why you good-for-nothing sonofabitch, here, gimme that Taser you fuckwit. There, now let me share some of the fucking pain that your fucking company inflicts on its customers with you.
ZAAAAAAP!!!
RUN YOU FUCKERS! RUN LIKE A FUCKING KENTUCKY CHICKEN!!!
Fucking hell. A full, complete, unpatched, unupdated, stealth install of Opera in CS3 Bridge. Who the fuck thinks stupid shit like that is a good idea?
Technorati Tags:
Adobe Can Kiss My Ass, Adobe: Simplicity is our enemy, TEH STOOPUD
Posted by John C. Welch at 11:43 | Permalink
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You know, even if I'd never heard of any other stupid thing Adobe had done, this would be enough to convince me they were incompetent assholes. I'm actually starting to have a hard time believing there isn't malice involved.
Posted by:
sdf 
|
July 8, 2008 12:11 PM
So, where are the howls of "badware" from the Mozilla chumps on this one? Oh, wait, bashing Adobe doesn't up the hit-count the same way bashing Apple does. Silly me.
Posted by:
Angry Drunk |
July 8, 2008 12:23 PM
heh...if the Mozilla idiots get too loud with that, then they start having to explain why they're stealthing Crash Reporter into FF3, instead of allowing you to not install such stupidity if you don't want.
They're not to good with justifying that.
Posted by:
bynkii |
July 8, 2008 1:32 PM
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT USED TO BE!
The CS2 Suite used the old freeware Opera 7, complete with banner ad in the toolbar!
And it's not just Bridge (plus "Stock Photos") that's Opera-based, "Help Viewer" also has a copy of Opera.app inside it's application bundle!
If you install Acrobat 8, you get two "Adobe Help Viewer"s in your /Applications folder: 1.0 and 1.1! You also can't move the "Help Viewer"s elsewhere, as their paths are hardcoded in the Adobe apps!
This means that installing the CS3 suite gets you three hidden copies of Opera, though they aren't kept anywhere that LaunchServices can't find them!
Posted by:
Fred Blasdel |
July 8, 2008 8:23 PM
I just checked all three of my Adobe Help Viewers..didn't find Opera in any of them.
Posted by:
bynkii |
July 8, 2008 11:03 PM
I stand corrected — I just checked a CS3 install (Design Premium I think) and *only* found two separate copies of Opera: 9.20 in Bridge, and 9.10 in "Device Central".
I do distinctly remember there being several independent copies of freeware Opera 7 with the banner ad and everything inside CS2 bundles, but I last dealt with that a couple years ago.
I think Adobe will probably abandon Opera in CS4 and replace all the Opera stuff with AIR, which I think will probably turn out pretty well for once.
I just remembered while rooting around the bundles that Acrobat contains a copy of mysql, which it actively uses for god-knows-what. I remember tracking down the cause of a crashy Acrobat installation to it barfing immediately after calling exec on it's copy of mysql.
That application is such a pile of crashy crap, and has only gotten worse. I've had to find workarounds (usually reinstalling and reupdating) to it's foibles almost a dozen times, and it's a real pain when it needs fixing on 60 Macs at the same time. The last time it crapped itself on me was hilarious: If you printed anything the last page would be sent to the printer upside-down, and if you closed/crashed it, it would corrupt its preferences and not launch a second time!
Posted by:
Fred Blasdel |
July 9, 2008 6:34 AM
Sweet Mother of Null! Just when you think someone has uncovered the lowest level of Adobe's stupidity, a new rich vein of poo is discovered.
Adobe continues their drive to achieve Extensis-like levels of customer enragement.
So, how long until Apple releases some "Pro" page layout, vector graphics, raster image and PDF rendering apps to compete directly with InDesign, Illustrator, Photoshop & Acrobat?
Posted by:
Wrinkle_In_Time |
July 9, 2008 10:36 PM
