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Again, a Taser would solve this

Just a quick one, in total agreement with mj here, when talking about Dave Dunlap's astounding bit of entitlement douchebaggery:

So I emailed Steve Jobs...what the hell. I was frustrated and I knew he would never even see the email. (I looked up his email address on a mac forum)

"Mr. Jobs,

I was first in line for this phone. I paid a premium. The screen broke from a short drop. $250 dollars?

I have sold at least 3 of these things for you. I feel dirty."

Spin, Magic Wheel of Entitlement Douchery, Spin!

Dave feels dirty? Holy fuck, can you imagine what Steve Jobs feels like every time he realizes that a significant portion of his customers are self-entitled dingalings like this nimrod? It evidently falls to me and a few others to relay this bit of news to the fucking Mac world: When you tell other people how cool <Apple Product> is? That's nothing special. It's called "Word of Mouth", and just like Mustang fans don't get free cars on a regular basis, and Sony fans don't get free PS3s on a regular basis, and lord knows I have yet to get a free Wii, you're not going to get free shit from Apple just because you like their products and get other people to like them too.

In short, Dear MacMacs: Get fucking over yourselves

However, Our Pal Steve knows how to deal with entitlement douchebags like Dave:

Imagine this for a car:
I was first in line for this car. I paid a premium. Then I crashed it. $2500.
I have sold at least 3 of these cars for you. I feel dirty.

Sent from my iPhone"

That my friends is a great analogy. Well, to everyone except for Dave:

Wow! How cool and how completely unsatisfying all at the same time!

His analogy falls short for me. If I bought one of the most expensive cars there is lets say a Ferrari 599. They retail for about $250,000. Forget the fact that the price went down two months after I bought it. I drive my new 599 around telling everyone who will listen how great it is.
Then I pull into a parking space and bump a curb and the windows all explode.

"You didn't fellate me because I'm too fucking clumsy to NOT DROP MY PHONE, so I hate you." Gimme a fucking break. I've not only dropped mine, but I've done one of those "drop onto the top of your foot while you're walking and kick it ten yards in the parking lot" deals. It didn't break. Not even a fucking scratch. Why? Well, because when I bought my iPhone, on day one as well, I engaged the parts of my brain that dipwads like Dave left in a bus station bathroom years ago and said "Damn...this is one fine bit of electronic gymcrackery here, but alas, I am a big clumsy oaf at times. Hay Luk! I can has protektive kayse!" Lo, there was also purchased a Speck Toughskin Case, and the iPhone was now protected from the randomly malfunctioning hands of its owner, and there was much rejoicing. (Seriously, I love the case, but the belt clip is crap. Just junk the belt clip.)

If only Dave had perhaps realized that gravity and acceleration still apply, even to him. But then, entitlement douchebags still believe the fluff their parents filled their heads with, about them being special unique flowers to everyone they meet. They're exactly as special as the third daisy from the left. The final bit in Dave's inane post is the money shot, for me at least:

I am not sure what to do next. I am thinking I might sell the phone to some DIY type for $175 dollars. That's the price to get out of the ATT contract.

Heart breaking.

The only thing "heart breaking" about this is that Dave thinks the world works this way. Instead of selling his phone, he should be suing his parents for raising him to be such a complete fucking idiot.

Sigh...my brain, she weeps.

Technorati Tags:
Blogosphere = Dorkosphere, Blogosphere = Stupid, Blogtards, iPhoneTards, TEH STOOPUD

Posted by John C. Welch at 06:55 | Permalink

Comments

What the hell is up with the clips on iPhone cases? Do any of them not suck? I picked up a zCover when I got my iPhone, but damn does the belt clip blow. It also includes an armband...

Yeah I said an armband.

I have no idea what they were thinking. But the belt clip I thought I might use was crap. I like the case and so far my phone has survived 3 drops and 5 months, or so, in my pocket. I've been checking out other cases and all of the clips look like the same lame design. If you find one that actually doesn't suck then let me know.

Posted by: Michael Krzyzek | April 1, 2008 11:10 PM

Armband's for joggers, using it as an mp3 player, by extension from the iPod versions.

Posted by: Sigivald | April 2, 2008 1:56 PM

I understand what the armband is for, but if you actually try and use it that way it is very, very cumbersome, not to mention a bit heavy. Out of curiosity I tried it right after I purchased the case. In order to keep it from slipping down my arm I had to crank the strap very tight, almost "vein popping so I can give blood" tight.

If we were talking about a iPod nano then I could see the armband thing. The iPhone and iPod touch are just to big and heavy to use in that way.

Posted by: Michael Krzyzek | April 2, 2008 2:24 PM

Ah, makes sense. Your wording didn't make the nature of your puzzlement clear.

I've never actually used the armbands on anything, so I have no idea how heavy is too heavy...

Posted by: Sigivald | April 3, 2008 2:38 PM

Again, a Taser would solve this

Comments

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