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Web browsers are all retarded, and their developers suck

There are two major choices on Mac OS X and they both suck rancid, gangrenous donkey cock:

Safari...nice UI, follows OS conventions, but SSL is as random as a psychotic cat. Will it work? Will it fail? Will it work part of the way through? Who fucking knows, it's Safari, and you have to guess what it will do. Got animated ads? Watch Safari lose its fucking mind and try to eat all your CPU. Javascript? Shit, that's russian roulette with three bullets there. And a plugged barrel. Safari's fast, except when it's off in SCROD land. Here's a hint, oh mighty Safari team...if it's fucking spinning that fucking colorwheel of fucking doom, it's NOT FAST, BECAUSE I CAN'T USE THE FUCKING THING. HOW ABOUT IT NOT LOSE IT'S FUCKING MIND 9087520349587 TIMES A FUCKING DAY! COULD YOU MAYBE PUT "DOESN'T LOSE IT'S FUCKING MIND" ON THE TOP OF THE LIST OF GOALS FOR SAFARI?? MAYBE?? Oh, and the dumbest, and I do mean dumbest fucking autocomplete that ever was. Holy shit, it autocompletes on PASTE ops, and if you go PASTE-ENTER, well, hope you wanted some fucking autocomplete, because by god, you're going to fucking get it. Jesus, do the people writing this code actually use the fucking thing, or do they only use bookmarks chosen by Steve?

Firefox is more reliable, but I'm tired of shit that treats the OS like an afterthought. Shit like, oh, I don't know, PAGE UP/DOWN should just work. Keychain integration. A preferences system NOT designed by a mad Russian monk with a small penis. No, I honestly don't give a fuck that it runs on more than one platform. I don't see it being a pain in the fucking ass on Windows, so why is it a pain in the fucking ass on the Mac. Shit or get off the pot. I want a UI that's a proper Mac UI on Mac OS X, and whatever the fuck passes for a proper UI on Windows. One size does not fucking fit all.

I just want a browser that fucking works, with tabs and some AppleScriptability, a sensible autocomplete, ala IE 5 on Mac OS X, and that can handle normal shit like animated gifs and SSL without crying.

Is that TOO much to ask?

Before it starts, I've tried Opera, I've tried Omniweb. I hate them both more. Don't even bring those shitpiles up or I'll kick you in your intarweb nuts.

Oh, and someone tell me why the Acrobat 8 PDF plugin takes minutes to load, only runs in one browser, and requires fucking MYSQL to DISPLAY A FUCKING PDF IN A FUCKING WEB BROWSER?!?!?!?

:SDHF{ PWE {IP*) +) $_ HI:LHDFOUGD(_D*6*888^*65*66!!!!!!!!!

Technorati Tags: Firefox, Web Browsers are all Teh Suck, Safari

Categories: Other

Posted by John C. Welch at 00:06 | Permalink

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There are two major choices on Mac OS X and they both suck rancid, gangrenous donkey cock:\n\nSafari...nice UI, follows OS conventions, but SSL is as random as a psychotic cat. Will it work? Will it fail? Will it work part of the way through? Who fucking knows, it's Safari, and you have to guess what it will do. Got animated ads? Watch Safari lose its fucking mind and try to eat all your CPU. Javascript? Shit, that's russian roulette with three bullets there. And a plugged barrel. Safari's fast, except when it's off in SCROD land. Here's a hint, oh mighty Safari team...if it's fucking spinning that fucking colorwheel of fucking doom, it's NOT FAST, BECAUSE I CAN'T USE THE FUCKING THING. HOW ABOUT IT NOT LOSE IT'S FUCKING MIND 9087520349587 TIMES A FUCKING DAY! COULD YOU MAYBE PUT \"DOESN'T LOSE IT'S FUCKING MIND\" ON THE TOP OF THE LIST OF GOALS FOR SAFARI?? MAYBE?? Oh, and the dumbest, and I do mean dumbest fucking autocomplete that ever was. Holy shit, it autocompletes on PASTE ops, and if you go PASTE-ENTER, well, hope you wanted some fucking autocomplete, because by god, you're going to fucking get it. Jesus, do the people writing this code actually use the fucking thing, or do they only use bookmarks chosen by Steve?\n\nFirefox is more reliable, but I'm tired of shit that treats the OS like an afterthought. Shit like, oh, I don't know, PAGE UP/DOWN should just work. Keychain integration. A preferences system NOT designed by a mad Russian monk with a small penis. No, I honestly don't give a fuck that it runs on more than one platform. I don't see it being a pain in the fucking ass on Windows, so why is it a pain in the fucking ass on the Mac. Shit or get off the pot. I want a UI that's a proper Mac UI on Mac OS X, and whatever the fuck passes for a proper UI on Windows. One size does not fucking fit all.\n\nI just want a browser that fucking works, with tabs and some AppleScriptability, a sensible autocomplete, ala IE 5 on Mac OS X, and that can handle normal shit like animated gifs and SSL without crying.\n\nIs that TOO much to ask?\n\n\nBefore it starts, I've tried Opera, I've tried Omniweb. I hate them both more. Don't even bring those shitpiles up or I'll kick you in your intarweb nuts.\n\n\nOh, and someone tell me why the Acrobat 8 PDF plugin takes minutes to load, only runs in one browser, and requires fucking MYSQL to DISPLAY A FUCKING PDF IN A FUCKING WEB BROWSER?!?!?!?\n\n:SDHF{ PWE {IP*) +) \$_ HI:LHDFOUGD(_D*6*888^*65*66!!!!!!!!!\n

Technorati Tags: Firefox, Web Browsers are all Teh Suck, Safari