So, I have this really odd food allergy. Not a peanut thing with the Epi-Pens and the swelling and the dying, but a pain in the...stomach nonetheless. There are four veggies that I can't eat:
Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Asparagus, and Cauliflower.
If I am foolish and consume them, then I am having deep conversations with Mr. Toilet Bowl on the joys of peristalsis. Usually for a day or so.
Last night, Melissa, Shawn, Lesa, and Sly all went to the Smile On My Mac gathering, at a really lovely house in the North Beach area. Melissa got her first encounter with walking S.F. hills, and we had a lovely time.
Mel and I then caught a cab to the Mac-Mgrs get together at Beale Street. Had a lot of fun. She was starting to run down, so I walked her back to the room, and then walked over to Dave's to sit and talk with some folks in relative quiet. Chuck and I closed the place.
So, now remember the food allergies? And the first gathering? Normally, I'm really good at spotting the bad food. However, there was a wee fact I was not aware of.
Quiche Has Broccoli
Who Knew? Well, everyone but me. So I have some convos with Mr. Toilet Bowl, truly a lovely man, and get some sleep. Wake up, and discover that Sprite is not in fact a substitute for Ginger Ale, to date the ONLY thing that can counter the effects of the Bad Food on me. I would like to say that this is in no way the fault of the Smile On My Mac people. I just didn't know that Quiche was something I should avoid. Sorry guys.
I get to the Moscone West at 7, and I'm in the holding pen. Waiting. Waiting. Everyone is commenting that I rather look like shit. They were being kind, at least from my end. My entire conversational output the last 30 minutes was: "Food Allergy. Bad. Quiche has Broccoli. Who Knew?"
You know how when you're standing around throughout the day and you produce saliva? You don't want to be a rude SOB, so you swallow it instead of spitting. You know how I said that Ginger Ale is the ONLY thing I can keep down in these situations? That is a set of one. Not "Ginger Ale and..." One.
So the spasms in my stomach are getting worse. I steal a chair and try every meditative trick in the book. To no avail, my stomach is PISSED at me. I realize two things:
- I will not make it through a keynote, unless that includes me curled into a ball in the back of the room on the floor
- I have a really wonderful woman back in the room who just might be of some help with the ginger ale situation
I've a lot of voicemail.
So, if I had to meet with anyone, I'm sorry, but I think you prefer my choice here.
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