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Minor wedding update

Yes, I know, most of you don't care. However, this is my blog, so I'll write about whatever I wish. Nyah.

Even at the age I'll be for this wedding, (40, blah), I realize that if I ever really really wanted the perfect example of just how different men and women think, I should get married. Oh wait...

It's even better when the groom is in Missouri, and the bride and the wedding is in Florida.

See, it's not that I don't have any say at all in things. But, my interest in the wedding is on a different vector. I'm there to well, get married. Make it all legal. Go on the honeymoon. Especially the honeymoon. So honestly, a five minute ceremony, a decent party, and twenty minutes later, wedding night! Then the honeymoon. That's all I need. Well, it's all my nads need. They aren't REAL happy about that stupid 25 minute delay in there. Nads are rather single-tasking.

However, there is something to be said for a wedding that you want to remember. Not because Uncle Biff got drunk and came out after he got caught giving a waiter a handjob. That's memorable, but not in the way you prefer. I would like a wedding that people talk about because it was fun, or special, or <insert good reason here>. I think less for the whole grandeur of it, and more because, well, major life changes should have a ceremony, and face it in western civilization, there's not a lot of that. A good friend of mine said that she really wished there were more...events, or at least something more to mark events. There's no longer any rites of passage, no marking of becoming an adult. It just kind of happens. One day, you're face down in a bucket of vomit and your friends are writing "Express Lane" on your ass complete with arrows pointing to your rectum in sharpie, and the next, you have a job, and a place to live. Sure, there's graduation, but that's one of the few ones, and it's kind of optional, and in some cases, (such as yours truly. Really mom, I will finish my degree. Real soon now.), it may not happen when it's supposed to.

Relationships are really bad about this. Used to be, there was the first date, then some more. At some point, you held hands. You maybe even asked to go steady. These were not done publicly, but the public noticed. Each stage of the relationship had some unique outward symbol.

Now, it all kind of schlumpfs along, and all of a sudden, you're walking around in your birthday suit while she gets hair in your shower drain. (Seriously ladies...learn to clean a drain. I'm a hairy bastige, and I KNOW I'm not the one responsible for that shampoo-lubed 3' long rope of ugh that I pull out of my drain every so often. Yes, I know, I get rewarded for it, but still.)

So the wedding is really one of the only remaining ceremonies left in a relationship. It's important.

Two years ago, I would have probably said "County clerk, signed paper, I'm good". Now...maybe it's watching Mel plan for the wedding, but I'm kind of getting into it. I'm not obsessing about it, but I'm actually starting to think about what it may be like, and wanting it to be good. Thinking about the ceremony. About what it will be like to see her in the dress. What I'll say. Will I make Shawn cry again? Will he succeed in returning the favor? (No, kicking me in the nuts won't count.)

And, I'm kind of digging watching Mel's reaction to everything. I find that I tend to get very silly as we plan this over IM and phone:

but maybe next to the fireplace? I think your dress would get all sooty

Or upon her remarking that in one location, the wedding would be in the town square:

hmmm....they used to hang people in the town squares...appropriate I suppose

don't be silly
this is a new community

Upon being told there are deer in the community, running about in the open:

Brad and I may be late in that case...wedding should be in the evening.

lol

but we'll have fresh venison to eat!

hmm

does one yell "FORE" when hunting on a golf course?

er

it's the polite thing to do, but tends to scare away the deer...conundrums, always conundrums

I suppose it's my way of making sure that the whole thing doesn't get too serious, or that she doesn't get too crazy.

So she's scouting locations, and I'm offering (in)sage advice.

Oh, yes, that's a Pay Pal button where the Snakes on a Plane audio used to be. It's a "Help John pay for his wedding" button.

Look at it this way...me being married is probably a good thing for many single women. Don't you care about the single women? Of course you do. Don't you want them to sleep safely at night? Yes, we all do. Don't do it for me, do it for the single women. (If I get enough to pay for a bottle of Lambic, I'll be stunned, so really, NOT taking it seriously. But, it can't hurt.)

Technorati Tags: Weddings

Categories: Other

Posted by John C. Welch at 21:45 | Permalink

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Yes, I know, most of you don't care. However, this is my blog, so I'll write about whatever I wish. Nyah.\n\nEven at the age I'll be for this wedding, (40, blah), I realize that if I ever really really wanted the perfect example of just how different men and women think, I should get married. Oh wait...\n\nIt's even better when the groom is in Missouri, and the bride and the wedding is in Florida.\n\nSee, it's not that I don't have any say at all in things. But, my interest in the wedding is on a different vector. I'm there to well, get married. Make it all legal. Go on the honeymoon. Especially the honeymoon. So honestly, a five minute ceremony, a decent party, and twenty minutes later, wedding night! Then the honeymoon. That's all I need. Well, it's all my nads need. They aren't REAL happy about that stupid 25 minute delay in there. Nads are rather single-tasking.\n\nHowever, there is something to be said for a wedding that you want to remember. Not because Uncle Biff got drunk and came out after he got caught giving a waiter a handjob. That's memorable, but not in the way you prefer. I would like a wedding that people talk about because it was fun, or special, or <insert good reason here>. I think less for the whole grandeur of it, and more because, well, major life changes should have a ceremony, and face it in western civilization, there's not a lot of that. A good friend of mine said that she really wished there were more...events, or at least something more to mark events. There's no longer any rites of passage, no marking of becoming an adult. It just kind of happens. One day, you're face down in a bucket of vomit and your friends are writing \"Express Lane\" on your ass complete with arrows pointing to your rectum in sharpie, and the next, you have a job, and a place to live. Sure, there's graduation, but that's one of the few ones, and it's kind of optional, and in some cases, (such as yours truly. Really mom, I will finish my degree. Real soon now.), it may not happen when it's supposed to.\n\nRelationships are really bad about this. Used to be, there was the first date, then some more. At some point, you held hands. You maybe even asked to go steady. These were not done publicly, but the public noticed. Each stage of the relationship had some unique outward symbol.\n\nNow, it all kind of schlumpfs along, and all of a sudden, you're walking around in your birthday suit while she gets hair in your shower drain. (Seriously ladies...learn to clean a drain. I'm a hairy bastige, and I KNOW I'm not the one responsible for that shampoo-lubed 3' long rope of ugh that I pull out of my drain every so often. Yes, I know, I get rewarded for it, but still.)\n\nSo the wedding is really one of the only remaining ceremonies left in a relationship. It's important. \n\nTwo years ago, I would have probably said \"County clerk, signed paper, I'm good\". Now...maybe it's watching Mel plan for the wedding, but I'm kind of getting into it. I'm not obsessing about it, but I'm actually starting to think about what it may be like, and wanting it to be good. Thinking about the ceremony. About what it will be like to see her in the dress. What I'll say. Will I make Shawn cry again? Will he succeed in returning the favor? (No, kicking me in the nuts won't count.)\n\nAnd, I'm kind of digging watching Mel's reaction to everything. I find that I tend to get very silly as we plan this over IM and phone:\n\nbut maybe next to the fireplace? I think your dress would get all sooty\n\nOr upon her remarking that in one location, the wedding would be in the town square:\n\nhmmm....they used to hang people in the town squares...appropriate I suppose\n\ndon't be silly\nthis is a new community\n\nUpon being told there are deer in the community, running about in the open:\n\nBrad and I may be late in that case...wedding should be in the evening.\n\nlol\n\nbut we'll have fresh venison to eat!\n\nhmm\n\ndoes one yell \"FORE\" when hunting on a golf course?\n\ner\n\nit's the polite thing to do, but tends to scare away the deer...conundrums, always conundrums\n\nI suppose it's my way of making sure that the whole thing doesn't get too serious, or that she doesn't get too crazy.\n\nSo she's scouting locations, and I'm offering (in)sage advice.\n\nOh, yes, that's a Pay Pal button where the Snakes on a Plane audio used to be. It's a \"Help John pay for his wedding\" button.\n\nLook at it this way...me being married is probably a good thing for many single women. Don't you care about the single women? Of course you do. Don't you want them to sleep safely at night? Yes, we all do. Don't do it for me, do it for the single women. (If I get enough to pay for a bottle of Lambic, I'll be stunned, so really, NOT taking it seriously. But, it can't hurt.)\n

Technorati Tags: Weddings