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I mean besides the one on his head.
While the video of him "confessing" to Winer how he manipulates the Mac community is being treated as an "a-HA" moment by many, the truth is, a lot of us have know this for years. It's no surprise at all that he's coldly and deliberately trolling the Mac community.
But face it, that's what people want. We want trolls, or more precisely, we want people who will write outrageous hyperbole that gets us all riled up so we can talk about it, or comment on it. People love to talk about things like "reasoned discussion", or "just stick to the salient points" but it's all bullshit. We want trolls and outrageous hyperbole and people writing to create strong emotion.
Proof the first, Politics:
We love to talk about "dirty campaigns" as if the idea was some new blight on humanity. The truth is, politics has always been dirty. There's not a time in this country's history when it hasn't, and the same goes for every other country. At its worst, it involves beheading, just ask Charles the First. At it's most entertaining, watching Taiwanese leaders bitch-slap each other. But really...who wants to watch a debate run by people who only debate the facts? No one. It's dull. We crave emotion. In the 2000 and 2004 US Presidential elections, both Democratic candidates were careful to stick to the facts, and ignore the attacks coming from the Republican side. They appealed to our "higher purpose". How's that working for you Senator Kerry? Yeah. Clinton was the slipperiest shuck and jive used car salesman I've ever seen campaign and he was beautiful to watch. In the 1992 election debates, when he and then - President HW Bush were asked "What do you pay for a gallon of milk, a pair of shoes and a pair of jeans", Bush just flubbed it. Clinton's eyes lit up like he'd just been handed 90 minutes with a porn star high on X, and he slipped into BubbaMode, and just eviscerated Bush. Right there. It was horrifying to watch, yet at the same time, exquisite. Right then, I knew he was going to win. He wanted it so badly, he'd do anything to get it, and the American people want that. Just like we want dirty campaigns.
Back to Dvorak, he's been doing this over ten years people, and he's still getting paid for it. Why? Because it's what you want. If you really, really hated Dvorak, you wouldn't read him, his numbers would fall, and he'd have to pick a new tactic or a new line of work. Since John is making a ton of money, we'll have to assume that someone's reading the hell out of him. It's not me, heck, I didn't even see the video. I don't have to. Ten seconds after John Dvorak says something stupid, it'll be all over the internet. Why should I give him hit counts when I'm going to find out without having to do even that much work.
Proof the second, Authors and Famous People:
Folks, if we didn't love outrageous shit, Ann Coulter would be wishing she'd gotten bigger boobs, Al Franken would still be writing for Saturday Night Live, and Michelle Malkin would be on a street corner yelling "OH ME SO HORNY, SUCKY-SUCKY TWO DOLLAS". Okay, probably not, she's a smart girl, which is why she spews hate once a week in her column. It's why Ann Coulter doesn't title books "Liberals, and why I disagree with their positions", or Al Franken isn't writing "Proof that conservative columnists are not being truthful". We want that crap. We want "Lies and the Lying Liars who tell them". Why? Because there's nothing more entertaining than a fight that you're not in the middle of. Watching the long, slow, train wreck that is Ann Coulter's or Al Franken's devotion to "reasoned debate" is even more entertaining than "Flavor of Love". (But not the reunion show. That shit rocked.) Stephen Colbert. 'Nuff said.
Back to trolls, we want people to piss us off, or create controversy. Face it, if all Scoble did was write about what he did at work today, or what his kid did, or his wife, no one would care who he is. But when Robert gets going, especially when he's wrong? Dude, you need a 64-bit counter to track the responses. While I rag on him about checking his facts better, I'm just tweaking his beard. The worst thing Scoble could have done while blogging at Microsoft was be accurate and do in - depth research before posting. Would have just killed his career as a blogger. Omar Shahine, who works at Microsoft and has a blog, wrote about his adventures in trying to find a Plays for Sure device that was a solid replacement for his iPod. Each contender was written about objectively, with all good and bad points given equal weight. It was neat to read, and hopefully, the manufacturers of the losers will jot down what Omar had to say, it was really solid. But dude, no one cared. Meanwhile, Steve Ballmer says in an interview that he's "brainwashed his kids" into hating all things not Microsoft and OMGWTFKHAAAAAAN!!! The internet explodes in a river of packets. Had Ballmer not said it that way, no one would care.
My last proof is the reaction to various things I post here. (I leave out the other places I write for, as they, not I, determine tone and content, so the reaction to that is not a reaction to "me" per se.) I know, even though it's not why I write them, that if I'm in a ranty mood, the comments are going to be an order of magnitude higher than if I'm in a good mood, or a dispassionate mood, or writing something that doesn't invite strong reaction. Even when it should invite a strong reaction, if it's not ranty, it doesn't happen. For example, my post about the passing of Mike Bartosh. I'm very proud of that one, it was quite hard to write, and if it brought any comfort at all to his friends and family, I'm glad, as that would be one of the primary reasons for writing it. 28 or so comments, 64K hits on the day after. A good-sized spike, after that, back to normal. However, after my rant on Andy Stone's bizarre take on user interfaces and how I think he's nuts, I had three days of similar spikes.
On June 6th, I post a long, reasoned article about why the anti-homosexual marriage arguments are so much crap. Not even a hint of a blip. I post about getting engaged, nothing. But holy crap, a year ago I posted my rant about hating George Lucas like David Duke hates Shaq, and the traffic was off the hook. Huge.
I've had a lot of people compare me to Dvorak, but that falls down, as:
- This site brings me no money. I think if I added up all the google ad hits I've had since I started using them, I'd be able to get a pizza. A medium one. With one topping.
- This is just where I post the random shit that my head comes up with. If i don't post for a week, oh well. if i post three times a day, oh well. It's not a job or anything.
But the computer writers of the world? You, the audience long ago showed them the path to success. So when you get ready to complain about what a horrid man Dvorak is for trolling his audience with such cold, calculating purpose?
He's only giving you what you want.
Aka: Cast out the beam in thine own eye before thou pointest out the mote in mine
You want reasoned, logical discussion? Stop rewarding its polar opposite so well.
Technorati Tags: Dvorakism, MacMacs, Trolling, TEH STOOPUD, Writing
Posted by John C. Welch at 23:24 | Permalink
