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Okay, so read this bit of idiocy.

Whiskey

Tango

Foxtrot?

Let me get this straight. This moron listens to his iPod cranked to the max and now it's Apple's fault. John Kiel Patterson, Idiot, is suing Apple because: Apple’s iPod is “inherently defective” in its design and can contribute to hearing loss.not sufficiently adorned with adequate warnings.. Patterson's suit is claiming that Apple’s iPod is “inherently defective” in its design and can contribute to hearing loss, however, The suit doesn’t indicate whether Patterson has suffered any hearing loss from using his iPod, according to the Associated Press.

That's right, he doesn't even know if his hearing is damaged, and if so, if the iPod did it. But that's not going to stop John K. Patterson, the biggest jackass in Louisiana from suing someone. Check this out: Patterson does not know if the device has damaged his hearing, said his attorney, Steve W. Berman, of Seattle. But that's beside the point of the lawsuit, which takes issue with the potential the iPod has to cause irreparable hearing loss, Berman said.

I SWEAR to GOD, if this idiot even gets taken seriously, I'm going to start suing companies based potential for damage from products. Cars can kill you, the exhaust can cause cancer, gasoline is TOTALLY toxic if you drink it. Guns? Oh dear god, give me a moronic precedent like this, and I'll be able to burn Benjamins with the money I'll get from the gun companies. The only difference will be, I'll admit I'm doing it because I'm a greedy, amoral bastard who wants to take other people's money. At least I'll be more honest than John K. Patterson, Idiot.

Let's be clear. He's saying that the ABILITY of the iPod to play loudly is the problem. No one forced him to crank it. No one held a gun at his head and made him listen to 115db for days at a time. Steve Jobs didn't threaten to sell his family for dogfood if he didn't max the volume on his iPod and leave it there. The iPod didn't break, and only play at that volume. There's no defect that causes the volume to only be that loud. John Kiel Patterson, Idiot, cranked that sucker clockwise until the bar hit the far right end, and that's now Apple's fault for letting him be a moron.

Even better, he's using a French law to bolster his case. Well, in France, it's illegal to make such devices that play at over 100db. That wasn't a voluntary decision by Apple, it's what you have to do to sell iPods in France. They don't do it anywhere else.

So this moron, this acephalic idiot, this entitlement queen has decided that since he's incapable of oh, TURNING IT DOWN, because I guess he's UNABLE TO WORK A SCROLL WHEEL, then it must be APPLE'S FAULT. Because heaven forbid that anyone tell John Kiel Patterson, Idiot, that maybe TURNING THE DAMNED THING DOWN MIGHT BE A GOOD GODDAMNED IDEA!!

If this guy gets anything but repeatedly kicked in the nuts by the judge, every resident of Louisiana, and every.single.employee at Apple, from Steve Jobs to the friggin' GROUNDSKEEPER, then the USA is doomed. There's only so much state-supported stupidity a country can have and still survive.

Technorati Tags: Apple, Business, iPod, TEH STOOPUD

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